Highlighting the negative
FIRST-TIME TRAVELERS, even to just the neighboring countries, tend to highlight the advances made by the visited destination. These usually infrequent travelers come home with stories of how things are much better in the countries visited, even when their experiences are limited to sightseeing, not at all subjected to what citizens there undergo in their daily lives.
Is it the transport system, payment methods, or facilities for the elderly? In any chosen field, there is the element of this once backward country now flourishing ahead of the curve, compared to us.
As a national pastime, putting down our own country beyond the bounds of humility has become all too common. Is it an inferiority complex that automatically compares our country unfavorably with any other? Do we dwell on the negative when it comes to home?
Self-deprecatory humor in the form of making fun of oneself and any claimed accomplishments, no matter how awesome, can be an endearing trait. (I was just there at the right time, and the right place.) Paradoxically, this form of belittling one’s status and making fun of the perks being enjoyed work best when one is already perceived as being at the top of one’s game. Winners of international competitions like beauty contests, Olympic events, and billiard tournaments credit their triumphs to luck, prayers of the nation, and the support of others, not necessarily the family.
Politicians use self-deprecation in the campaign trail to great advantage. So, the story of growing up poor and eating leftovers from fast food chains can be overused, even if such an experience probably never even happened. The rags-to-riches story has been overdone. But once in power, the language of the humble civil servant can shift into a confrontational and arrogant tone, especially in a legislative investigation.
A twisted version of self-deprecation is disguised bragging. Anyone prefacing what he is about to say with the phrase “modesty aside” is about to launch into self-aggrandizing statements, trumpeting achievements by packaging them as modest — my winning this prestigious award against other contestants from 40 other countries is testament to the ingenuity of the Filipino (ahem, you’re looking at him).
Is it only the obviously competent and unquestionably accomplished that can comfortably engage in self-deprecatory humor?
The insecure and under-qualified may feel that making fun of himself may invite ready agreement. (Oh Sir, you have every right to be modest.) For self-deprecation to work as it should, a social compact is implicitly entered into between the speaker and his audience. Poking fun at oneself is premised on the desire of avoiding envy and malice. Modesty puts people at ease who would otherwise be intimidated by the speaker’s power, intellect, or wealth — yes, I used to take the public bus to school. (It was a good way to meet girls, although I didn’t meet any who were not asking for my ticket.)
Self-deprecation has to do with humility, or, more crassly, lowering people’s expectations of what one can do. There is an invitation not to be taken seriously, even to be underrated. (Please I am not a threat to your standing in the organization.) An achievement is scaled down (I was just lucky) in order to defuse resentment which induces a desire to see a fall from grace for the high and mighty.
One problem with the tendency to stress the negative and put down one’s own country, almost as a habit to appear subservient and non-threatening, is that it is an invitation to be bullied even by neighbors. How can another country not be encouraged to be more arrogant and forceful when confronted by toadies?
As a default position, self-devaluation shifts our attention to what has held back our progress. It skips over our strong survival instincts and hospitality as a people. Sometimes, it even takes a foreigner on a blog to point out our virtues to the rest of the world.
Intentional depreciation of our character is a way to deflect the lightning from above. Anyway, if nothing else, self-deprecation pre-empts the viciousness of critics who are only too willing to put down those standing on pedestals. This is harder to do when he is already climbing down from it and laughing at himself as if to say — I am not worth the trouble of attracting envy.
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
