White lies in employee resignations

I would like to observe the 30-day advance notice rule when I file my resignation. The trouble is that my employer is known to delay even simple things like a clearance procedure. Many people who resigned before me got their clearance and pay after six months. Is this reasonable? What are the things that I should consider so that I can be cleared and secure my terminal pay at the soonest possible time without any hassle? — Very Worried.
A barangay official noticed a group of young boys standing around a small, cute dog that was apparently left by its owner for adoption in a box in a street corner. “What are you doing, boys?” he inquired. “Telling lies,” said one of the boys. “The one who tells the biggest lie gets the dog.”
“Oh my God!” said the official. “What’s happening to all of you? When I was your age, I never thought of telling a lie.” The boys were shocked. They looked at one another, a little dejected. Finally, one of them shrugged and said: “We have no choice. He wins the dog.”
What’s wrong with telling a lie? There are thousands of reasons. It’s illegal, unethical or immoral if a lie has evil intent or to evade liability, among others. But there are also certain exceptions to that general rule. American actress-comedian Lucille Ball (1911-1989) said: “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T TELL A LIE?
Most women are known to lie about their age. We know that. And that’s a legitimate lie bordering on humor, especially when you can see the obvious. Many people tell a lie for survival — at least that’s what politicians are telling us. In your case, you can tell a white lie to your employer if only to maintain good professional relations.
But what’s a “white lie?” Take this example. If your colleague bakes a cake and shares some slices with you, thank him profusely and taste it on the spot. Even if you don’t like the taste, say something positive about the cake just the same. After a small bite, tell your friend that you will be bringing home the cake to your kids.
Don’t throw the cake away even if you don’t like it. Give it to the security guard. Never make it appear that you don’t like it. Concoct another white lie to the guard that the cake is too sweet for you. He is not likely to care about being told a white lie.
The following morning give your baker-colleague a few goodies to reciprocate, and say something about your kids liking the cake. That’s a white lie intended as a face-saving gesture for your colleague. The only risk you run is another cake in the future.
That’s the beauty of white lies. They are still lies but are told with no evil intent. And they hurt no one.
WHITE LIES IN EXIT INTERVIEWS
For good measure, use white lies during the exit interview with your bosses and the human resources department. Be diplomatic. Don’t criticize their rotten management styles and current systems. No matter how difficult, list down all the good things about the company, except the pay, which could be your principal reason for moving on. Or give other reasons for leaving but not to the point of badmouthing your employer or its representatives. Who cares, anyway? It’s their problem, not yours.
Be practical. It is bad politics to quarrel with your past employer, no matter how badly you were treated in the past. Much more so if you were treated well.
Don’t burn bridges. Even it’s far from your mind now, always leave the door open for a return. Who knows? There could be a time in the future that your former employer may invite you to come back under certain favorable terms.
White lies are one of the reasons why I don’t believe in exit interviews. They are an exercise in futility, a waste of time and meaningless. By the time it happens, it’s too late for management and the HR department to address everything. Imagine being truthful and spilling the beans against certain personalities and the allegations being disproved. Imagine how that might contribute to unreasonable delays in the issuance of your clearance and payment of terminal pay and perks.
Proactive “stay” interviews are far better than exit interviews. When you give your honest opinion about the management style of people in your organization, you risk delaying the release of your terminal pay and perks.
Your main question is how to avoid the delay in the release of your terminal pay and benefits. It shouldn’t be a big deal if you’re getting a lucrative deal in your new organization. Grin and bear it. After six months, you will be glad you were patient in dealing with your former employer.
 
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