‘Fixation’

There are various types of obsessions and fixations. They apply to objects, people and situations. When one is focused on and fascinated with a beautiful subject, this could lead to a desire to possess it at all costs. When it is unattainable, it becomes an obsession.
In the 19^th century, there was an unhealthy fixation on one’s position or status that was diagnosed by French writer Alexis de Tocqueville as “a strange melancholy haunting inhabitants of democracies in the midst of abundance.”
Being on the top tier has become a social affliction in the 21^st century. This is the intense concern with social position. It is a soul-crushing disorder — the obsession of rank in the Western civilization.
It is prevalent in the lives of some people for extended seasons or years.
This affliction can be treated with great effort and over a period of time.
Acceptance is the first step.
The individual should accept and “forgive himself” for having certain perks — the elite club membership, the fancy weekend house in the country and frequent pleasure trips.
In the local scene, being in the elite circle is achieved through pedigree, inherited wealth, business savvy, good fortune and political success.
Being in the top tier (on any list) has its own unwritten code of behavior. It is a no-no to act like an overeager ostentatious parvenu. Conspicuous consumption and excessive social exposure are considered poor taste — especially when the country is in a recession or undergoing political turmoil.
People get stuck in “congenital uncertainty” with regard to their self-worth.
The display of unrefined behavior — overweening ambition, shallow snobbery, name dropping, calculating the net worth of others — based on appearance — is the result of insecurity. The underlying factor is the desperate bid for attention, recognition and esteem.
The perks and comforts of rank are quite enjoyable and addictive. However, there is a false notion about position in terms of actual value. Having an enviable social rung on the ladder of success is not an accurate measure of real value.
A social scientist once wrote that the poor enjoyed a moral status as elevated by their low social rank. This statement was based on a particular survey.
It reflected the pervasive influence of Christianity and Marxism. The affluent, in contrast, pursued pleasure — under the stigma of corruption and sin.
In the 20^th century, the rise of capitalist meritocracy changed the delicate arrangement. Money became the primary social signifier. Being rich was better, they said. It created the strong impression that rich people are more highly regarded. (This us true is some societies)
Being poor was unfortunate. It was considered regrettable.
The material world soon overtook and overwhelmed the spiritual world. The result was rampant anxiety among the people who felt disoriented, disconnected. Among a certain niche, the current social obsession is status. One upmanship and keeping up with the richer neighbors are symptoms of the malaise.
According to social scientists, there are certain cerebral, esoteric remedies.
Read perceptive, enlightening books.
Study paintings and the history of art. It would expand one’s mind and broaden one’s perspective. Then it would challenge society’s understanding of what matters.
Laugh at the witty, satirical cartoons in magazines such as the New Yorker. The humor pokes fun at the foibles of people who have high status.
History and Anthropology are insightful. The ancient ruins provide the key to how people lived in the old civilizations. Gazing at old rocks is meditative and curative.
Here are some positive role models:
The ancient Greek cynics who did not give a damn about other people’s opinions.
The 19^th Century Bohemians who realized that money was not everything. They enjoyed life and living despite the tight budgets and occasional harsh conditions.
Jesus Christ who taught people the fundamental value that we are all created equal.
According to a recent study, religion is supposed to be the effective antidote for anxiety. One needs a proper sense of humility to heal the affliction of vanity and superficiality. Unfortunately, being religious does not guarantee an instant cure for the corrosive effects of narcissism, being spoiled and egotistical. The Pharisee-like behavior of self-righteous hypocrites is incurable.
In the local setting, some people are beyond comprehension. People tolerate them because of their exalted status — wealth, power. Both are fleeting and temporal. Minor vices such as compulsive climbing and flashy behavior can be tempered with a dose if quiet, self-imposed hibernation, introspection and self-discipline.
The Christian concept of mortality is an equalizer. No matter how powerful or important some people may think they are, one thing is certain. The fixation on immortality and invulnerability is vacuous and useless.
Thus, we are given a timely reminder on Ash Wednesday. The cross on the forehead signifies that we will all end up as the most democratic of substances: dust.
 
Maria Victoria Rufino is an artist, writer and businesswoman. She is president and executive producer of Maverick Productions.
mavrufino@gmail.com