What is, what can be, what if

By Raju Mandhyan
YES, forgiveness is a leadership competency.
Leadership is about constantly coming to that fabled fork in the road and taking the one less traveled. It is that spectacular moment in time when things that are ordinary become extraordinary. It is that amazing moment in time when potential disastrous situations flip over into miraculous magnificence. It is that brilliant moment when humanity claims that we can change, millions follow, and the world moves.
Leadership also is a journey because when a human — or a bunch of humans — begins to move the world, they have to keep it moving and keep it rolling over the hills and valleys of life over long periods of time. Cases to cite can be those movements led by Rizal, Gandhi, and Mandela. They took time and they were long, arduous journeys into a brighter and a better future.
Leadership is also a symphony because a single individual cannot go it alone. An entire orchestra is involved. Those that lead don’t lead forever; they move in and out, blend with the melody and create a rhythm. Every once in a while, one instrument lords it over the others but very soon, another takes its place.
In all these three aspects of leadership, leaders need to master the ability to forgive and the ability to move on. And no, this isn’t just for the softer, social side of living but also for the growing, building, and expanding world of business and professionalism. Leaders need to go all out into catching that fleeting moment when the ordinary can turn into the extraordinary. They need to develop the grit and resilience to withstand the ebb of time and the challenges of journeying through it. But when it comes to making music and working with people, leaders need to learn to let go. If they can’t let go of the misery that follows failure and fail to make peace with the randomness of success, then they get stuck. And what gets stuck stagnates and dies.
In forgiveness lies emotional, social, and spiritual intelligence. In forgiveness lies that fact that leadership is about looking ahead and moving on. In forgiveness lie the seeds of a new vision and new world.
The way leadership can forge itself into tenaciousness, resilience, and steely optimism is by working through these three questions inspired by Appreciative Inquiry, a model developed by professor of leadership Gervase Bushe.

ONE, WHAT IS?
When leadership trains its eyes and ears to see and hear things objectively and with crystal clarity, then it also learns to stop pulling wool over its own eyes. An oft-repeated story is that of Kodak and how it refused to see and hear how the business landscape was changing. Today Kodak is not the Kodak we knew in the ’60s and ’70s. In contrast, Toyota heeded the signs that spelled trouble for its SUVs and called back thousands of vehicles to set them right. Ask yourself “what is?” and refuse to fool yourself with the answers you give yourself. Yet, in a very gentle way, asking this question is also about looking and listening for untapped possibilities.
TWO, WHAT CAN BE?
Just like day follows night and night follows day, an honest “what can be” does need to follow an authentic and appreciative “what is?”
“What can be” is about seeking out and zooming in on strengths and unseen resources. Leadership needs to come from a belief that hidden inside every harsh desert is an oasis. It is about chasing that vision. It is about asking the questions where can we go from here, what can be achieved with what we have. Asking these questions is like fanning burning cinders and turning them into raging fires.
Leadership is never about crossing your arms and sitting down. It is not about taking things lying down but about getting up and going.
THREE, WHAT IF?
What if — despite all our resources, our experiences, and our wisdom — we may have taken the wrong road in the fork?
This is why leadership is a journey: it needs to stay open and collaborative with other opinions, other points of views and possibilities. It takes grace and great strength to look into social and business relationships to realize that we might have been, consciously or unconsciously, playing our own trumpet out of sync. A willingness to listen, a willingness to see and be open to multiple perspectives and to changing landscapes, is a strength — if not the ultimate strength in awakened leadership.
Leadership that doesn’t ask these questions of itself is unable to let go, unable to forgive, and unable to evolve. These three questions when constantly asked and consistently reflected upon will cut multiple neural pathways in our thinking systems and strengthen our abilities to let go of resentment and despair. Asking these questions will allow us to work towards hope and success. In their book, Building Resilience with Appreciative Inquiry, authors Joan McArthur-Blair and Jeanie Cockell share a story about CEO Harry who took years to realize and recognize how blind he was to his own biases and how, after being able to forgive himself and others, his journey shifted course.
As the year ends, remember that it is never too late to turn a new leaf. Turning a new leaf is asking yourself three questions into forgiveness and then putting your shoulder into it, and moving your world.
 
Raju Mandhyan is an author, coach and speaker.
www.mandhyan.com