My sister is a trans‑woman. Maybe because we were the two middle children that she became the one I am closest with. Maybe it was also because we had the same sensibility: we didn’t go out as much, we stayed at home after school, we didn’t really have friends, whenever we’d get sick we cried because my mom didn’t let us go to school. Our pastime involved watching reruns of America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway and rooting for different finalists, with her choice always ending up winning or getting farther than my pick. We are two years apart. I graduated ninth out of my elementary class composed of 21 sections. She graduated second. In our respective high school graduations, I finished salutatorian, she finished valedictorian.
She took care of my dad when he was sick. She was already in college then, doing all-nighters for design plates. My mom was working, my other sister still lived with her husband, I was busy juggling school and work.
Last year, after seven years in university, she graduated with a degree in architecture. It took her 2 years longer to finish her course, mostly because we didn’t have the money to print the design boards for her thesis. In those seven years she went to school with money just enough for her fare, no extra for food or anything else.
Weeks after her graduation, we found an employment opportunity. We were prepared, we made a resume and wrote her application letter.
The night before her interview, she messaged me and asked me how interviews went, asked me what questions were usually asked. She asked me what I thought she should wear. The day before her graduation, she asked me what kind of shoes would look best with her dress. She showed me pictures, discussed with me what made this or that a better choice. This was the same routine, except that this time, it felt like she was second‑guessing herself. She wore a skirt when she presented her thesis, she wore a dress in her graduation ceremonies. It was logical to me that if she wanted to wear a skirt, she should wear one. So when she asked me if she should wear a skirt, I told her to wear a skirt. I told her to wear what she wanted. I told her that she should wear what she wants to.
Days after the interview, I received a message from her. She asked me whether or not she should still wait for the response of the company she applied for. She told me that when she was about to meet the company’s president as part of the final application process, the company’s vice‑president for human resources came to her and told her that the president was in a meeting. The VP told her that they’d just reschedule the final interview. The VP said that they’d call her back. Weeks passed, and she didn’t get that call. This, after everyone who went through the same application process (who met the company president on the same day they were interviewed) had already received their application results. This, after the same VP told her that she had a great interview and that she got high scores in the exams. Weeks came and went and, when she tried to inquire, the same VP told her that their company did not allow “severe cross‑dressing.”
During the conversation, she asked me, “Should I wear a skirt for my next interview?” This has been the fourth or fifth time she asked me this. Always, my answer is “Wear a skirt, wear what you want.” When she gets rejected, my go‑to response is “hayaan mo sila, baka mga tanga nagtatrabaho diyan.” I would’ve decided to respond with a variation of these responses today, but it has been a month now and she gets the same treatment. The last time, in a skirt, she was told that she cannot use the women’s room. The last time, she was asked if she was open to choosing “more normal clothes” if ever she gets hired. I can only imagine how tiring it is. I can only imagine how hard it is to have your very being discredited. I can always insist that she can wear what she wants to wear, but I can only imagine how difficult it is to be at the receiving end of rejections that dismiss your ability because you chose to wear a skirt.
So today I asked her, “Ano feeling mo?” “Hindi ko na alam, nabibwisit na ako… Nakakadepress.”
I didn’t know how to respond. I just stared at my phone’s screen. I was thinking of what to say. I was thinking of how to answer without making her feel that even I didn’t know the answer. That even I—the only one in my family to get into UP, the first one to finish a proper degree, have a passport and go overseas, the first one to get a government ID, even—can’t do anything to make these stupid people understand how smart she is, how she finished college with almost no proper support from our family, what a great person she is. She even continued taking care of my dad after he almost hit her. She even asked me to attend his wake.
I just stared at my phone’s screen, thinking of what to say. I want her to do what she wants. I want her to be able to wear a skirt. After all she’s been through, I would think that she deserves a chance to choose who she wants to become, how she wants to express herself. I would like to think that she deserves to wear a skirt. At one point we were almost agreeing that she can try to wear more androgynous clothes, but I thought why is wearing a skirt a problem? Why does she need to change how she wants to present herself? I wouldn’t want her to feel that she can’t do these things—these things that make her who she is. I don’t want her to be hurt, dejected. I don’t want her to be discouraged. I felt helpless. But, I can only imagine how she felt. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be told, time after time, that she can’t be herself.
After a long silence on my part, she messaged me again. “Huy.” I didn’t know what to tell her, but she needed my response at that very moment. I didn’t know what to tell her and I can’t afford to show her that I am weak, I can’t do anything, I am just a literature major, the best thing I can do is teach the basics of fucking plot. I can’t afford to be weak, but I am not sure how not to be.
Afashion designer profiled by British Vogue sashayed in the retail industry in 2009 with absolute honesty—the complexities of her gender and sexuality as a lesbian.
“I consider the LGBT as an inspiration,” Kaye Morales told SparkUp in an interview at her atelier in San Antonio Village, Makati City. True to form—and with the memory of struggling with clothing choices as a young boyish girl—the 33‑year‑old Ms. Morales is a purveyor of designs that cater to people of “all sexual orientations and gender expressions.”
These styles range from oversized and edgy pieces, to fabrics bursting with rainbow colors—the global colors of LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) pride.
Her direction sprung from her desire to be free. “I didn’t want to work while hiding something,” she recalled. “At one point, I had been put out to my friends, but not in the industry where I worked. I wanted to be real and I wanted people to know the real me, so I can work properly.”
Her sartorial passion began to express itself at the De La Salle‑College of Saint Benilde, where she took up interior design, then production design. She was aware of being always noticed for her fashion taste.
The call of the catwalk drew her to the SoFA Design Institute in Makati and eventually to London’s Central Saint Martins, whose notable alumni include Alexander McQueen and John Galliano.
“I was still studying, but a lot of fashion editors were already recognizing my works,” she said. “That’s when I decided to start my business.”
Initially managing two brands—her eponymous clothing label which featured avant‑garde pieces, and Schizo, which offered street wear—she later merged the two to avoid brand confusion among her customers.
Today, Ms. Morales continues designing and running a business. Gazing at the spotless white floor of her shop that lazy weekday afternoon, she tells a story about receiving an offer by the country’s largest retailer to set up shop in their malls, which she had to turn down. “But I still need to study mass production,” she says in hindsight. Still, among her plans is opening more outlets, including, perhaps, outside the country. So far, her mother is her main investor.
Late last year, she diversified and added to her portfolio Nectar, a Bonifacio Global City-based luxury nightclub for the LGBT. She is a co‑owner.
“It’s really a hard business,” she said about the cutthroat industry. “Every day there are new designers. But I can say that I have become braver in my seven years so far.”
“I want to prove that I have worth even if I am a lesbian,” she finally declares.
AYALA Land (ALI), together with joint venture partner Sicogon Island Development Corp. (SIDECO), is developing the Sicogon Island Tourism Estate in support of the government’s Western Visayas tourism drive.
Look back at the past few weeks, and try to recall what and where you have spent most of your money on. We’ll take a wild guess and say that the top four answers would probably be food, gadgets, travel and clothes. To be honest, we can’t really blame you. We understand how all these could really be so alluring. The good news, though, is we can actually turn all these pains of spending into gains for saving.
You and your friends enjoy eating out and scouting the must‑try restaurants in the metro. It’s quite a splurge to do this often, but at the very least, make it worth your while. Explore the dishes and cuisines, and consider recreating them later on. Bring your latest concoctions to potluck dinners with friends, or better yet, earn money from cooking all these meals. Who knows, you might actually discover a new hobby, and a potential business idea, in cooking.
The newest model is launching in a month and pre-ordering is a must. It’s got a bigger screen and increased megapixels for photos. But, is a new phone really necessary? Skip riding on the fad and maximize the potential of your current phone instead. Use it to earn yourself some extra income by taking a crack at photography and videography. Market your skills and maybe even sell your photos or videos online. Developing your craft and working hard will build you an impressive portfolio which clients will die to get their hands on.
Traveling could be quite costly but it’s possible to get a portion of your money back after spending thousands for airfares, tour packages and accommodations. Use your skill in writing and create reviews of your many travel experiences. Who knows, your collection of honest and helpful stories and tips might thrust you into becoming a blogger and social media influencer. This might even bag you a couple of free trips and perks for your next travels. Exciting, isn’t it?
Shopping is not something we could easily resist, especially when three‑day sales come by more often than actual paydays. Sometimes, impulse buying really cannot be helped. It may feel like a good purchase today, but after a day or two, it wouldn’t seem like a wise decision after all. Should you find yourself in this ordeal, there’s no need to fret so much. The good thing about this is it doesn’t really have to be money lost for you. You can opt to re‑sell clothes you haven’t used or even consider doing garage sales for items that are still worth someone’s money.
Remember, these tips are not to deprive you of spending anything for yourself. By all means, reward yourself from time to time for the hard work that you do. The key here is to never get stuck in merely spending and to keep an eye for opportunities in saving. We’re telling you, the possibilities are endless and you just have to be more tactical and creative in utilizing your current assets.
Push this idea of gaining even more and give investing a try. Learn more about the magic of compound interest and enjoy seeing your ₱10,000 at 15 years old exponentially grow into ₱100,000 (at an interest rate of 12%) by the time you’re 35. Wouldn’t it be exciting to see your money work for you this way? Or, why not even try investing in mutual funds or the stock market at an early age? Don’t only practice saving, but find opportunities to grow your current fund.
What we’re saying is enjoying some luxuries can potentially be sources of income for you as well. Buy and invest on experiences, not on material things and possessions. These experiences and skills will come in handy and will give you more leverage to turning these seemingly pains into actual gains. Not only will this grow your bank account, but it will also let you grow more as a person.
Clarissa Seriña‑de la Paz and Sharon W. Que are financial literacy advocates and the bestselling authors of “I Wish They Taught Money in School” and “Money Grows on Trees” Check out their books at www.lifestyleupgrade101.com. Get 10% off, plus a free notepad and bookmark, by sharing this story with the hashtags #MoneyMonday and #SparkUp. Remember to make your post public!
