IF YOU RECEIVE an invitation for breakfast out of the blue, and from someone not seen in a long time, the first reaction is surprise. Sure, the one setting the schedule is well known to you. But why the sudden need to meet up over coffee? Is it just about catching up or discussing health issues?
Is it appropriate to text back — what’s this all about? An assurance that it will just be a one-on-one meeting with no specific agenda to take up may still cause uneasiness. And the invitation is for the following week yet, so there is no hint of urgency or seeking favors. You may even enjoy meeting up and splitting the bill.
Regular reunions are a different matter.
These can be get-togethers of former classmates scheduled regularly, like the first Tuesday of every month at a designated coffee shop and defined start times. There is also a designated individual to remind the Viber group a week before that it’s that time of month again. The event is followed by posted photos to show who showed up, and who didn’t. No captions are needed.
In the corporate setting, the no-agenda meeting (especially breakfast) is unusual. How can there be no specified agenda? Maybe, a “courtesy call” falls into this category? The only assurance in such an informal meeting is that no minutes are taken, and no “next steps” recorded for follow-ups. It is the corporate form of blind date. Expect to be disappointed.
Cards are exchanged and general topics are discussed, like dope smoking of aides in the ladies room or the humba episode in the Hague. Mutual acquaintances are checked out to lead to the cliché — what a small world! (Well, it was big before we met.)
The ordering provides conversation pegs — I practice intermittent fasting, and usually just have coffee for breakfast and only two meals for the day, usually 12 hours apart. Egg is fine, you are told, but only if you just eat the whites (albumen is good for you). Avoid the shell and the yolk. The breakfast companion may roll his eyes to the ceiling as if waiting to be redeemed from this health guru.
A business topic may arise before the third coffee refill. Food-enhanced meetings are not hospitable to power-point presentations and usually end vaguely — let’s get together again, maybe at your office? (Please coordinate with my secretary.)
Each party walks away from the table certain that: a.) He did not give anything away and extended no firm commitment; and, b.) He got an agreement in principle which he will take back to head office and include in his call report. (A further meeting will include more details on the proposal.)
Just to end the informal meeting, maybe two more unrelated topics can be squeezed in before parting. Younger meal companions, who order decaffeinated coffee with oats, and yoghurt with nuts as the main course, may suggest other places for lunch next time. (I assure you the crab cake is to die for.)
In the no-agenda meeting, there are no designated subjects to talk about.
You sip your coffee and enjoy the pleasant conversation on wellness and the sculpting of the body from weight training which mere climbing the walls in frustration cannot achieve. (Your triceps are sagging, Sir.)
Parties that have done business together for a long time (not necessarily related to flood control) tend to forge social ties as well. With these relationships, there is also the no-agenda occasion of just exchanging pleasantries over coffee. It may even be a birthday party or a wedding anniversary.
The invitation to have a meal together should be a welcome occasion. It’s a chance to share fond memories and discuss world politics without any “next steps” to worry about.
So, if one gets a message from a long-lost friend to get together for breakfast at a moderately accessible place that doesn’t require a long drive, it is good to accept without hesitation.
Sure, one can have bacon and eggs at home. But usually, the croissants at breakfast places can be worth the trip… along with the latest news on still living classmates who couldn’t join the breakfast. (There was nobody available to push his wheelchair.)
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
