By Raju Mandhyan
I APOLOGIZE. I know it is a slight twist from the original but this twisted version serves my purpose much more pointedly. And, before I get to the point let me tell you how the underlying message becomes meaningful to me.
A few decades ago, the family and I used to frequent a neighborhood clinic in Makati where we favored a gentleman doctor by the name of Dr. Dan Gepilano. The good doctor was then in his late 30s but had the demeanor of a person in his late 50s. By that I mean that in all appearances he was fit as a fiddle but his behavior and mannerisms were kindly, compassionate, and fragrant as that of a person who had been around and about life a lot. Regardless to say he was a favorite not just of my family but of the whole neighborhood where we then lived.
Every time I’d walk into his clinic with either a cold, an aching back, or a hurting knee, he’d greet me with face that lit up at the sight of me. He’d have me sit down and then start with, “Hi Raju, how are you?” followed by how is the family, how are the kids, and how we were all getting along. He’d then follow with questions about my health and then, eventually and caringly, move into asking about what was ailing me. He’d ask how long I’d been hurting, what were the symptoms, and if I had taken any off-the-shelf medications for my ailment, etc., He would then get up, come around take my pulse, check my body temperature, have me sit up and then glance at the knee, move it up and down, tap it a bit with a rubber hammer, and do all that was possible to get a handle on my pain.
After a very thorough, but never an ostentatious, diagnosis, he would settle into his chair and declare that maybe I had “mild bursitis” or something. He’d then gently explain what it was and what causes it, then move into offering suggestions to heal it. I am saying suggestions because he would not just simply lay down a single prescription and ask me to come back after five days; he’d lay down a handful of options. Would I like to rest it for a few days and then come back for another checkup if needed? Or would I like to begin minding my diet, manage my stress, and try some physical therapy to strengthen the whole knee? Or would I like to take something for the ache and supplement it with some steroids and vitamins? He would also explain the pros and cons of every recommendation he’d make, and at the end explain the costs and the benefits.
Being there like that in his presence, even as I knew that he wasn’t a specialist in any specific field, made me feel safe, cared for, and included in my own healing. And, for years almost all big and small health concerns of my family and I were taken care of by Dr. Dan Gepilano. My kids never shunned going to see the good doctor for any and all ailments they went through in their growing years. Dr. Dan Gepilano wasn’t just a neighborhood doctor to us, he was a trusted advisor, a friend and family to us. There were also times, if I had to choose what kind of car to buy, I’d get the urge to go see the good doctor for his advice. Maybe, I did too.
Today, as a coach and a consultant, when I work with business leaders who want to bring about change, innovate, heal, and lead their organizations, my counsel to them is often doused with ideas I had picked up from watching and admiring a good doctor care for his patients.
I tell my clients;
Make sure that when you want to bring your people from here to there, that you understand where they stand and what their “here” is. Make sure that your understanding, knowledge, and diagnosis of the organization’s status is complete and thorough.
Make sure that you go through the process of explaining and educating your people, your clients as to what is happening and what the possibilities might be. Do also explain that all kinds of interventions and innovations are prescriptive and not assurances of success and growth.
Take the trouble to involve them in the process of choosing their medicines and methods towards their own growth and development. That way your prescriptions do not just remain prescriptions but turn into the co-creation of solutions towards their future.
Give them options. Giving them options gives them a sense of inclusion in the process and ownership of the outputs and the outcomes. Recognize this: that though our visions of the future may be the same, people are different and their perspectives are also extremely diverse.
Helping them keep their eyes on the goal, their journeys can differ but their destinations are bound to merge into one. Like, back in the day they used to say “All roads lead to Rome.” Today, when it comes to leading your people, your clients to a better future, trust the fact that there may be many roads to it, but there is only one Rome.
Raju Mandhyan is an author, coach and speaker.
