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10 Vietnamese apprehended for illegal fishing

THE PHILIPPINE Navy on Tuesday apprehended 10 Vietnamese poachers at Tapuitan Island, El Nido, Palawan while conducting sea patrol. The authorities also seized from them an estimated 70 slaughtered sharks. The foreigners were brought to the El Nido Municipality Police Station and will be charged with violation of Section 91 of Republic Act 10654, the Philippine Fisheries Code. — Jil Danielle M. Caro

Letran out to push ascent vs Perpetual Help

By Michael Angelo S. Murillo, Reporter

WINNERS of their last two games, the Letran Knights are out to keep their fine form of late going when they take on the Perpetual Help Altas today in the end-of-the week schedule of Season 93 of the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA).

Muralla-based Letran (3-3) will collide with Perpetual Help (2-3) at 4 p.m. at the FilOil Flying V Centre in San Juan City.

Preceding it is the clash between defending champions San Beda Red Lions (5-1) and struggling Mapua Cardinals (1-5) at 12 noon and Season 93 hosts San Sebastian Stags (2-3) against the improving College of St. Benilde Blazers (2-4) at 2 p.m.

The latest of Letran’s victories came over St. Benilde, 92-78, in an “NCAA on Tour” game at the former’s home gym on Aug. 3.

Graduating player Rey Nambatac was the top man for the Knights in their home win as he scored a season-high 31 points to go along with 11 rebounds and five assists.

Bong Quinto, Daryl Pascual and Jeo Ambohot also scored in double figures with 14, 12, and 11, respectively, for Letran.

From a 66-all deadlock at the end of the third period, Nambatac spearheaded a fourth-quarter onslaught while shutting St. Benilde down to power Letran to the win.

The Blazers set the tone early as they led, 21-14, at the end of the first quarter and 29-20 early in the second.

Nambatac then took charge as he willed his team back as the Knights grabbed a 43-38 lead at the half.

“Rey Nambatac is Rey Nambatac. We just need the other players to complement his game,” said Letran coach Jeff Napa, whose wards broke a string of losses of the home teams in the NCAA on Tour.

EYEING A WIN
Perpetual Help, for its part, is eyeing a win over Letran that would put it back in the victory column after losing to the league-leading Lyceum Pirates, 76-58, in its last outing.

Nigerian big man Prince Eze had a monster double-double of 21 points and 19 rebounds but that proved to be not enough to lead his team against a balanced attack from the Pirates.

A win today would push the Las Piñas-based Altas back in the top four of the standings.

In the first game, meanwhile, two contrasting teams jostle as San Beda, winner of its last four games, takes on Mapua, which has lost four straight.

The second game, on the other hand, will have San Sebastian and St. Benilde, teams coming off victories in their previous games, battling to notch win number three in the current season of the country’s longest-standing collegiate league.

Disney empire strikes back with new streaming plan

WASHINGTON — Walt Disney Co. has the potential to shake up the television sector with its plan to offer direct-to-consumer streaming services and take on Netflix on its own turf.

Disney Bob Iger
This photo taken on June 16, 2017 shows Disney CEO Bob Iger speaking at an event to mark the first anniversary of the opening of Shanghai Disneyland, in Shanghai.

But analysts say the move is likely to have only limited impact on the Netflix juggernaut and represents an effort by Disney to keep pace with the industry shift to online television services.

Disney announced Tuesday it would launch a “multi-sport” streaming service under its ESPN brand in early 2018 and a Disney branded direct-to-consumer service in 2019.

At the same time, Disney said it would end its distribution agreement with Netflix for subscription streaming of new releases starting in 2019, including popular film franchises like Lion King and Frozen.

The shift is likely a positive move “because Disney is a destination brand,” said Rebecca Lieb, an independent media analyst and former television executive.

“Of all the content providers, Disney is in the best position. Parents take their kids to see the next Disney movie, and sports fans will follow ESPN.”

MISSING PIECES
But a closer look at the Disney announcement suggests it is not as dramatic as it appeared initially.

Disney chief Robert Iger said the company had not yet decided on whether its Star Wars and Marvel films would be on the Disney-owned service or on third parties such as Netflix.

And its ESPN service may be limited to sports such as baseball and ice hockey, without the more popular professional basketball and National Football League games.

“I don’t think the threat to Netflix is that great,” said Alan Wolk, an independent consultant who follows the television industry.

“Netflix is very well entrenched especially since they are international.”

Wolk noted that streaming-only viewers without cable subscriptions are interested in live sports but that it’s not clear if the ESPN package will be attractive.

“This is not full-fledged and I wonder if it will have trouble attracting viewers since it doesn’t have NBA and NFL.”

Disney’s move comes with many US television viewers abandoning expensive cable TV “bundles” in favor of on-demand online services like Netflix and Hulu.

The availability of standalone streaming from channels like HBO and CBS is likely to accelerate that trend, as will the new services from Disney.

GETTING VIEWER DATA
Wolk said one advantage for Disney of moving online is getting better data on viewers without relying on third-parties.

“Traditional broadcasters have no relationship with their consumers, they have no idea who they are,” Wolk said.

“One of the advantages (of streaming) for Disney is they get e-mail addresses and credit card numbers. For advertising they can do addressable and cross-screen advertising.”

Tuesday’s announcement coincided with Disney’s boosting its stake in the streaming technology group BAMTech LLC. Disney said it would pay $1.58 billion to acquire an additional 42% stake in BAMTech to bring its ownership to 75%.

But Richard Greenfield at BTIG Research argued that Disney’s actions were “too little, too late” in a sector that is rapidly shifting to a Netflix model.

“When historians look back on who is to blame for the rise of Netflix, we believe they will focus their attention on Disney, under the leadership of Iger,” Greenfield said in a note to clients.

“Disney has sold Netflix more content across film and television than any other company, with Netflix now ‘a monster’ that we believe has achieved escape velocity.”

Greenfield said Disney could have built its own direct-to-consumer system but is now playing a costly catch-up game that is likely to be “painful” for revenues.

“Disney simply waited too long to make this critical decision,” Greenfield said.

Jan Dawson at Jackdaw Research agreed that Disney is late to the game.

The company “has been suffering as ESPN subscriber numbers and ratings go downhill, and so is coming at this direct-to-consumer shift from a position of weakness rather than strength, making it more urgent and critical for the company’s future,” Dawson said in a blog post.

“But those services won’t launch until next year (ESPN) or the year after (Disney), meaning that the company won’t see any meaningful positive impact until it’s seen several more quarters of declines in the ESPN business.” — AFP

BSP bullish banks can meet EMV shift deadline

By Janine Marie D. Soliman,
Reporter

THE BANGKO SENTRAL ng Pilipinas (BSP) is bullish all banks will be able to fully migrate their systems to the Europay, Mastercard and Visa (EMV) technology by June next year.

The central bank chief said they are optimistic local lenders would be able to meet the June 30, 2018 deadline for shifting their systems to the microchip-powered technology, with the regulator not looking into further extending the date.

Originally, card-issuing entities had to fully migrate to the EMV standard by Jan. 1, 2017, as said under the BSP Circular 859 issued in 2014. But with most banks yet to switch to the platform amid challenges, the central bank last June gave lenders an extension to adopt the EMV technology.

Banks will have to face a penalty should they fail to meet the deadline by end-June next year, according to BSP Governor Nestor A. Espenilla, Jr.

“We made it June 30 because we also consulted with the industry what is doable, so that’s based on what is doable,” he said in a recent interview.

“But as I said, June 30, it doesn’t mean that between now and June 30, nothing will happen because there are already obligations that have to be met like provisioning,” Mr. Espenilla added.

The BSP chief said they have been seeing the “behavior” they want from banks as they migrate to the EMV platform, such as the practice of making business decisions ahead of the deadline “and not waiting for June 30.”

However, he also noted some lenders, particularly the big banks, also face physical challenges — like clients not willing to change their magnetic stripe cards to microchip-powered ones — when migrating their cards, automated teller machines (ATMs) and systems to  the EMV technology.

Yung mga aabot pa ng (Those who will still reach the) June 30 [deadline] is because it’s physically impossible for them to implement earlier, especially yung malalaki dahil ang dami nilang customers, ang hirap i-reach (the big banks because they have so many customers who are hard to reach,)” Mr. Espenilla said.

Big banks such as BDO Unibank, Inc. (BDO) and Bank of the Philippine Islands (BPI) said in June that they are currently in the process of migrating to the EMV platform after both lenders experienced technological problems — in particular, skimming and human error, respectively.

BDO President and Chief Executive Nestor V. Tan had said they are in the middle of distributing their EMV-enabled cards to their depositors, while BPI President and Chief Executive Officer Cezar P. Consing said they were scheduled to replace their old cards last month, way ahead of the deadline.

Mr. Espenilla had also noted shifting to the EMV technology is the “long-term” solution against card skimming.

EMV technology makes use of microchips rather than the traditional magnetic strip found at the back of cards, which are prone to skimming — usually done by illegally tapping into ATM terminals to steal client data. As a result, EMV makes depositors and credit card holders “more secure” against fraud.

According to central bank data, there are around 76 million debit and prepaid cards in the country while there are 8.5 million credit cards. Local banks also operate 19,084 ATMs across the country.

Megawide earnings fall in Q2

MEGAWIDE Construction Corporation reported on Thursday its net profit attributable to shareholders of the parent dipped 1.4% to P487.02 million in the second quarter, despite higher revenues from contracts and airport operations.

This brought the diversified engineering conglomerate’s first-half attributable net income 6% lower at P927 million.

In a regulatory filing, Megawide said its consolidated revenues jumped 14% to P4.73 billion in the April to June period. Year to date, consolidated revenues slipped 6% to P9.5 billion.

Revenues from the construction business rose 11% to P4.1 billion in the second quarter compared to the P3.7 billion for the same period in 2016. However, construction revenues for the six-month period still declined 10% to P8.3 billion.

Among the new projects booked in the first half include Rockwell Land Corp.’s Edades Suites, Fort Bonifacio Development Corp.’s BGC 5th Avenue Apartments, Southeast Asia Retail, Inc.’s Landers Alabang and Arcovia, and the Link Bridge and Elevated Road in Mactan Cebu Airport Terminal 2.

On the other hand, revenues from airport operations surged 26% in the second quarter to P585.9 million,  bringing the first half figure 29% higher to P1.15 billion.

The company’s joint venture with Bangalore-based airport operator GMR Infrastructure Ltd. took over the operations of the Mactan-Cebu International Airport (MCIA) in November 2014.

Airport passenger traffic at MCIA went up 14% in the first half, driven by a 36% surge in international passenger traffic and 6% increase in domestic passenger traffic. Air traffic volume increased by 17% for domestic flights and 37% for international flights. 

In a statement, Megawide President and Chief Operating Officer Edgar B. Saavedra said the strong second quarter figures show the company can achieve its full-year net income target of P1.16 billion. In 2016, Megawide recorded a net income of P1.02 billion.

“On a consolidated basis that includes the earnings contribution from Megawide’s airport operations business, the company should breach the P2-billion mark for full year net income,” Mr. Saavedra said. — CRAG

RCBC income up 67% in Q2

RIZAL COMMERCIAL Banking Corp. (RCBC) saw its profit slump in the first half of the year despite booking a double-digit rise in its bottom line in the second quarter, boosted by an increase in net interest income, trading gains and fee-based earnings during the period.

In a disclosure to the local bourse on Thursday, RCBC said its net income in the second quarter soared by 67% to P1.34 billion from the P806 million booked in the same period in 2016.

This was on the back of a 16% rise in net interest income as well as a 56% increase in trading gains and 140% climb in its fee-based income during the April to June period.

However, its second-quarter performance was not enough to boost its first-half profit following the decline recorded in the first three months. The lender said its net profit came in at P2.35 billion in the first semester of the year, down 9.96% from its unaudited consolidated net income of P2.61 billion recorded in the comparable period a year ago.

Its net interest income stood at P8.6 billion in the January to June period, which accounted for 70% of its total gross income of P12.4 billion during the six months end-June.

“The growth in net interest income was driven by the bank’s vibrant lending business with the loan portfolio expanding by 16% to P324 billion. All market segments sustained their growth with 15% growth in corporate loans, 26% growth in SME (small and medium enterprises) loans, 14% growth in consumer loans and 26% growth in credit card receivables,” RCBC stated.

It also noted the loan portfolio of its microfinance arm also continued to rise by 44%.

This brought its non-performing loans (NPL) ratio to 1.35% and NPL cover to 79.82%. Its capital adequacy ratio was at 15.20% and common equity Tier 1 ratio at 12.13% during the period.

The bank’s total deposits, meanwhile, rose by 20% year-on-year to P382.4 billion in the first six months, with current account, savings account deposits at P220 billion during the period.

Other operating income stood at P3.78 billion during the period, with fee income at P1.6 billion or 13% of gross income. Miscellaneous income grew 11% year-on-year on the back of “improved volume from leasing business.”

“Increase in total operating expenses was controlled at below 5% to P8.7 billion for the first half of the year,” RCBC stated, after it opened 18 new branches and 68 automated teller machines (ATMs) by end-June, amid its aim to expand customer reach and improve banking convenience.

Its consolidated branch network is now at 495 and 1,511 ATMs, bringing a 3.05% branch-to-ATM ratio.

Shares in RCBC were unchanged at P50.50 apiece on Thursday. — Janine Marie D. Soliman

Higher raw material prices weigh on Concepcion earnings

CONCEPCION INDUSTRIAL Corp. (CIC) booked a single-digit growth in net income attributable to the parent for the April to June period, as pressures such as weather and the increase in raw material prices weighed on the company’s sales for the quarter.

The listed supplier of air-conditioners and refrigerators reported an attributable net income of P352.6 million for the second quarter, up by 1.5% from the P347.3 million it delivered in the comparable period a year ago.

The minimal uptick follows a 3.5% increase in net sales for the April to June period at P4.06 billion, from the P3.92 billion in same period in 2016.

“The company’s performance was in line with market guidance in anticipation of headwinds such as weather, raw material price increase and FX. We expect these to continue for the rest of the year. However, we remain optimistic about the market and continue to invest in both capacity and capabilities,” CIC Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Raul Joseph A. Concepcion said in a statement.

This brought the company’s first half attributable profit to P570.17 million, 8% higher than the P528.22 million during the first six months of 2016.

“The first half of 2017 was marked by market softness with heightened margin pressure. This environment is likely to continue through the end of the year. We will continue to focus on operational execution and organizational efficiencies cognizant of these external challenges,” CIC Chief Financial Officer Victoria A. Betita was quoted as saying in a statement.

Amid challenges in the market, Mr. Concepcion said they continue to be optimistic for the latter half of the year, where they will also be launching a new segment slated to be a major contributor to the company’s growth.

“The next six to twelve months are going to be exciting for CIC as we launch our first IoT (Internet of Things) products. These will be our initial foray into offering practical smart appliances and solutions to Filipino consumers,” he said.

During its shareholder meeting last June, Mr. Concepcion said they will be launching a new company preliminarily called Cortex. This will offer both hardware and software that will create an enabling system of technology for consumers to monitor the electric consumption of appliances, among others.

CIC looks to grow both its net income and revenues by 15% for 2017, in order to hit its target of P50 billion in revenues by 2020. — Arra B. Francia

Government agencies see sharp decline in cash usage rate

GOVERNMENT agencies’ cash usage declined in July to the slowest pace since April, according to data from the Budget department.

The utilization on Notices of Cash Allocation (NCAs) in July stood at 77.3%, slightly lower than the 77.9% recorded a year earlier.

Compared with June’s 121% however, utilization dipped sharply.

For the six months to July, the NCA utilization rate was 91.7%, lower than the 92.8% a year earlier.

An NCA is a cash authority issued quarterly by the Department of Budget and Management (DBM) to central, regional and provincial offices and operating units to cover their cash requirements.

“It’s not news,” Budget Secretary Benjamin E. Diokno told reporters on the sidelines of a forum in Makati City yesterday.

He said utilizations tend to drop at the start of each quarter. He added that his agency is focusing on monitoring the end-of-quarter period, as this is where the unused NCAs lapse.

Sought for comment, DBM Undersecretary Laura B. Pascua concurred, but noted that weather may have played a part.

“It may be due to seasonal schedules of programs [and the] rains, but it may also be due to July being [the first] month of a [quarterly] lapsing of NCAs,” said Ms. Pascua in a mobile phone reply.

The Commission on Audit had the highest utilization ratio at 100.3% followed by the Commission on Elections at 96.7%.

Government agencies with the lowest NCA usage rates are the Department of Tourism at 16.2%, the Autonomous Region of Muslim Mindanao at 16.6%, and other executive offices (such as the Anti-Money Laundering Council and Climate Change Commission, among others) at 16.7%.

Mr. Diokno said that his department is taking a closer look at budget disbursements to prevent a backlog of unspent funds. This is on top of the proposed Budget Reforms Bill, Rightsizing of the National Government bill, and capacity-building initiatives to speed up spending.

In the second quarter, the NCA utilization ratio was 95.5%, which was lower than the 95.8% from a year earlier, but higher than the first quarter’s 93.4%. — Elijah Joseph C. Tubayan

Guam ‘well-equipped’ to handle Pyongyang threat — governor

HAGATNA — Guam’s governor on Thursday said the US territory was “well-equipped” to handle any North Korean strike thanks to robust infrastructure that had survived earthquakes and typhoons, after Pyongyang released a detailed plan to launch missiles towards the island.

A drumbeat of threats by North Korea over the years has fostered a sense of resilience among the island’s 162,000 inhabitants, whose lives are deeply intertwined with the US military, which has 6,000 troops based there.

Guam Governor Eddie Calvo said the remote Pacific island was accustomed to being a target ever since Washington placed military installations there.

“We have to understand that even in a million-to-one scenario we have to be prepared with Guam being what it has been for decades, an American territory with strategic military assets in place in a very dynamic region.

“We are prepared for any eventuality, more so than any other American community,” he said.

He did not elaborate on Guam’s defenses but the island houses two US military installations, and is also armed with a sophisticated weapons system known as Terminal High Altitude Area Defense, which can destroy short, medium and intermediate-range missiles in their final phase of flight.

“The way our infrastructure is built — an 8.3 earthquake a decade ago, powerful typhoons — they are well-equipped to coordinate both pre-event and also post-event,” he said.

Hours earlier, as North Korea’s war of words with US President Donald J. Trump intensified, Pyongyang said it was developing a plan to launch four intermediate-range missiles towards the Pacific island.

In Guam’s capital Hagatna, residents were unruffled by Pyongyang’s rhetoric.

“If it’s going to happen it’s going to happen,” Loiue Joyce, a woman in her mid-20s, said of the North Korean threat, as she enjoyed a day of shopping.

“Scary? Yes, but what can we do? We live on a small island. There’s really nowhere to hide if the attack were to happen.”

A key US military stronghold, Guam was the departure point for US B-52 bombers that attacked Hanoi during the 1955-1975 Vietnam war.

In addition to the military presence, Guam also relies heavily on tourism to boost its economy, attracting more than 1.5 million visitors drawn to its pristine beaches and luxury resorts in 2016.

BUSINESS AS USUAL
Authorities said the regional tensions had not dampened tourists’ appetite for the island.

“It’s business as usual in paradise,” said Josh Tyquengco, marketing director at Guam Visitors Bureau, the official agency for the island.

“I am not aware of any cancellations. This is peak season for Guam. I don’t see North Korea’s story having any impact on tourism at this point.”

But the Guam Daily Post said in an editorial that although the island’s residents were used to North Korea’s threats, the situation was more precarious today because “a feisty, not-so-cool-headed commander-in-chief lives in the White House now.”

The last time Guam feared a North Korean attack, in 2013, tensions eventually simmered down because then US President Barack Obama’s administration avoided a verbal war with North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, the newspaper said.

“This time, the North Korean threat is different, and more worrisome because North Korea’s Guam-specific threat was reportedly in reaction to President Trump’s statement saying: ‘North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury.’

“So now, the ball is back in Trump’s court. The United States has been threatened via a direct threat to Guam, which isn’t just a host for Air Force and Navy bases. About 162,000 people — mostly US citizens — call the island home.” — AFP

Bohol struck by magnitude 5.4 earthquake

A MAGNITUDE 5.4 earthquake shook Bohol yesterday at 8:43 in the morning. Based on the monitoring of the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs), the epicenter was around the town of Lila. Phivolcs said aftershocks were expected but no damages were immediately reported. On Oct. 15, 2013, a magnitude 7.2 earthquake was recorded in the island province of Bohol, Philippines. According to the Philippine Institute of Volcanology and Seismology (Phivolcs), the epicenter of the tectonic earthquake was in the municipality of Sagbayan.

Federer and Nadal stroll in Montreal openers

MONTREAL — A rejuvenated Roger Federer believes he is still reaping the benefits of his extended break from tennis after a comfortable opening victory at the ATP Montreal Masters gave him his best start to a season since 2006.

The Swiss star, who celebrated his 36th birthday on Tuesday, swatted aside Canada’s world number 116 Peter Polansky 6-2, 6-1 in just 53 minutes to book his place in the second round.

Federer was joined in the last 16 by top seed and old adversary Rafael Nadal, who made similarly short work of his opening assignment.

Nadal, who will depose the absent Andy Murray as world number one if he reaches the semifinals in Montreal this week, routed Croatian youngster Borna Coric 6-1, 6-2.

Federer is riding high after a spectacular year which has netted him both the Australian Open and Wimbledon crowns.

On Wednesday’s evidence, few would bet against him adding the US Open to that haul after a masterful performance that left Polansky groping at shadows.

A one-sided win gave him a 32-2 start to the season, his best beginning to a campaign since 2006 when he began 38-2 and finished the year at world number one.

Federer attributed his renaissance to rediscovering full fitness after knee surgery in 2016 and taking a two-month break from the game earlier this year.

“I guess for me the key is that I’m actually healthy,” Federer said.

“I knew that when I was healthy, I was going to be able to have chances to win slams again, to play against the best, beat the best.

“That’s also reasons why I’m still playing today. If I felt like I couldn’t do all these things, it would not be enjoyable or I wouldn’t be doing it any more.”

MONFILS THRILLER
Federer took control immediately against Polansky, holding his opening service game comfortably before quickly going 0-40 up in the second game.

A Polansky double fault gave Federer the break and the Swiss was soon 3-0 up after holding serve to love in the next game.

Polansky held his next two service games but never looked like breaking Federer’s serve as the veteran moved into a 5-2 lead.

Federer then broke Polansky to take the first set, following a signature backhand with a deft forehand volley that left the 29-year-old Canadian scrambling.

Federer was soon in control in the second set, scoring an early break and holding twice to move 3-0 up before a further break made it 4-0.

Polansky earned a stay of execution after holding serve in the sixth game to make it 5-1, but Federer raced into the next round with a comfortable hold, finishing with an emphatic overhead smash.

Federer will face Spain’s David Ferrer in the third round. Ferrer upset 15th seed Jack Sock 7-6 (9/7), 3-6, 6-1.

Elsewhere Wednesday, France’s Gael Monfils saved four match points before digging deep to defeat Japanese fifth seed Kei Nishikori in an attritional three-set duel.

Monfils prevailed 6-7 (4/7), 7-5, 7-6 (8/6) to advance.

There was almost another French Houdini act in the evening session, when Richard Gasquet fought back from triple match point down to earn three match points in the final set of his duel with Germany’s Alexander Zverev.

Fourth-seed Zverev, however, fought back brilliantly to claim victory in a tie-break, winning 6-3, 4-6, 7-6 (7/3).

Zverev will now face Australia’s Nick Kyrgios in the last 16. Kyrgios swatted aside Victor Troicki 6-1, 6-2. — AFP

Painfully Unfunny Night

By Richard Roeper

Movie Review
Rough Night
Directed by Lucia Aniello

“ROUGH NIGHT” doesn’t begin to cover it.

Rough-Night-081117

It’s also “Painfully Unfunny Night,” “Contrived Night,” “Unsurprising Plot Twist Night” and also, “How Do These Dimwits Ever Make It Through Any Night?”

This R-rated dark comedy is essentially a female-starring take on Very Bad Things, the Peter Berg film from 1998 starring Jon Favreau, Christian Slater, Daniel Stern, and Jeremy Piven as friends who gather for a bachelor party in Las Vegas that takes a deadly turn when a stripper is accidentally killed.

From that point forward, things go from bad to really bad to unspeakable to worse.

In Rough Night, Scarlett Johansson, Zoe Kravitz, Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, and Ilana Glazer are friends who gather for a bachelorette party in Miami that takes a deadly turn when a stripper is accidentally killed.

From that point forward, things go from sitcom stupid to off-putting to bizarre to tapping our toes waiting for the proceedings to wobble to a halt.

As we’ve noted in previous reviews of not-good films, when we get the oh-so-tired, allegedly funny group slo-mo walk in a movie, it’s almost always an indicator we’re watching a lazy comedy.

Rough Night has two such moments. Wait, I think there were actually three. Sigh.

Scarlett Johansson plays the bride-to-be, Jess, a buttoned-down type running for the state Senate in South Carolina. Paul W. Downs is her fiance, Peter, a sensitive wimp who can’t believe he’s landed Jess. (As one of Peter’s friends puts it, Peter is a six, while Jess is a 20.)

Neither Jess nor Peter nor any of the other characters we see in the South Carolina scenes sound like they’re from South Carolina. (And speaking of inexplicable accents, remind me to tell you about Kate McKinnon’s stab at sounding Australian.)

In Miami Beach, Jess is reunited with her best friends from college: the successful, beautiful and elegant Blair (Zoe Kravitz), who now lives in Manhattan; Frankie (Ilana Glazer), a far-left activist; the surly and needy schoolteacher Alice (Jillian Bell); and Jess’s pal Pippa (Kate McKinnon), with whom she bonded when Jess spent a semester in Australia.

The ladies set up camp in a multimillion-dollar house in Miami Beach, loaned to them for the weekend courtesy of a wealthy donor to Jess’s campaign. They meet the neighbors, Pietro (Ty Burrell) and Lea (Demi Moore), a swinging couple who seem to think they’re in a 1970s porno movie.

After some tedious party scenes in which the women snort cocaine and pound down shots and snort more cocaine and pound down more drinks, they return to the fabulous beach house and order up some pizza and a stripper (Ryan Cooper), who winds up dead about 90 seconds into the routine.

The stripper’s death is an accident, but there are drugs in the house, and Jess has a political campaign to think about, and Frankie has two previous convictions and is worried she’ll get hit with a 20-year prison sentence, and besides, we need the movie to continue, so instead of calling the police, these inebriated, babbling, squabbling, not terribly bright friends make one bad decision after another.

One minute Rough Night plays like Weekend at Bernie’s. Then it feels like Bridesmaids. Then it’s as if we’re seeing a spin-off of The Hangover.

Almost none of it feels original or fresh or spirited.

At times the attempts at outrageous comedy are flat-out off-putting. Blair basically prostitutes herself in an ill-conceived plan to recover some incriminating security tapes. Peter decides to drive down to Miami to find out what’s going on, and his plan includes strapping on an adult diaper so he won’t have to make bathroom pit stops, guzzling Red Bulls and ingesting drugs to keep him hyper alert. What a guy.

Rough Night is all the more disappointing given the director and co-writer is the talented Lucia Aniello from Comedy Central’s excellent Broad City. (Co-writer Downs, who plays the hapless Peter, is also a Broad City vet.)

Despite a wobbly Australian accent, McKinnon scores a few laughs as the strange but endearing Pippa. Johansson gamely throws herself into the mix, but she’s stuck playing an uninteresting, not particularly likable character. Just about everyone else, including Ty Burrell and Demi Moore as those skeevy sex-door neighbors, gets swept away by the tides of banal setups and forgettable punch lines.

Rough night for all of us. — Chicago Sun-Times/Andrews McMeel Syndication

Rating: One star and a half
MTRCB Rating: R-16