Beyond Brushstrokes
By Maria Victoria Rufino
“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest… For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
In this prolonged season of the pandemic, uncertainty, anxiety, depression and panic have set in. Many people of all ages are depressed and they worry about health. There is extreme anxiety about the economic future.
Here are some notes and quotes from an insightful conversation between Father Tito Caluag and Dr. Honey Arellano-Carandang, renowned psychologist and multi-awarded social scientist.
She explained, “Find your sacred space inside yourself so you can rest. Rest is a moral obligation… Rest is connected with our faith and hope, important with relationships and families.
“Rest is essential for us to get into our deeper selves.” We need it physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Without solitude, you cannot rest and be authentic.
“Connect with your basic goodness…. and with God. It is meditation.” She emphasized that rest gives one energy. People should not feel guilty when they rest.
“Instead of being, they are doing,” she observed.
When one is tired or angry, one can go out for a few minutes to rest. “Rest does not take your time. It gives you time. That is the paradox.”
To cope with adversity, busyness, and the demands of other people, she advised:
The practice of mindfulness. “Become aware of what is going inside you and what is happening outside and accept.
“It allows you to accept. Pause… to be refreshed by the beauty of nature. Music, art, nature. Live that moment and allow it to touch you.
“Faith — the bottom line of anything you do is spiritual.”
For the poor and the marginalized, she revealed, “Life beyond survival of the physical, such as food and drink, is provided by society.”
A social scientist is concerned about the mental health and psychology of people.
During this quarantine, family members have discovered each other. People were just too busy before it happened. Now they recognize the value of each person and his/her contribution. Everyone matters in the family.
“I matter,” is important to every child and adult.
“You need time to recognize what’s good in each person.
“Resilience is the ability to bounce back and not be devastated.
“To be resilient, you have to overcome adversity.”
She pointed out, “It is difficult to be resilient, if you have been given so much. How do you cope?” She cited the example of a young man who had everything and who asked her how to cope. He did not have the skills for coping because he was affluent and had things easy. Now, he was at a loss.
The poor are resilient because they have to deal with adversity everyday.
“It’s a question of survival,” Fr. Caluag commented. “What is the role of hope?”
Dr. Carandang said, “The 7th basic psychological need is known as Transcendence. There should be hope that the pandemic will transform us.
“We need to keep the child within us alive to keep us open, free…. We enjoy without judging.
“Children are innate truth tellers until adults teach them to lie.
“Children are pure, innocent, and open.”
In time, we lose the ability to keep the child in us alive.
“Play is so important …
“Adults are not fun. Serious people lose their joy.
“When they enter a crisis, they become toxic,” Fr. Caluag remarked.
“Play is what gives creativity. The arts are essential in dealing with crisis,” Dr. Carandang said.
Maya Angelou revealed that African-Americans survived humiliation, discrimination and abuse because “We sang and danced the blues.”
“It is the most empowering dynamic,” Dr. Carandang emphasized.
“The spirit of art is play. To bring what is inside and give it form… We learn by observing the outside world. We learn to conform as we grow up. In contrast, creativity is an activity that creates something new. It is something new from the inside…
“We are overwhelmed by events. People are disempowered because of the lack of control and uncertainty.
“How do you not die? By being creative.
“The act from the inside to the outside is anti-depressant. Play for children and adults. Have a new perspective.
“Depression makes a person feel powerless.”
Look at things in a different way, perspective. Something refreshing comes out.
“One half of the equation is conformity and the other half is creativity,” Fr. Caluag said.
The message of the pandemic is clear:
“Now is the opportunity to have a new creation. We must not go back to the old normal. How do we create something new?
“Simplicity.
“How to make life less stressful?
“Bring back and relearn respect for other human beings. Inclusion. Interconnectedness is the basis of compassion. Interconnectedness. Dignity. Honor the human person. Honor God. Kindness is starting to be extinct. We are forced to see what we are doing is wrong to mother earth and relationships.
“We should have affection and kindness.
“There is a new life…we must live.” Fr. Caluag said, “Going back to basics.”
“For humanity, I pray that we human beings listen and hear and look at this crisis as a way to transform ourselves into better human beings,” Dr. Carandang summarized.
“…And the world will be better for this.” — Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha, “The Impossible Dream”
Maria Victoria Rufino is an artist, writer and businesswoman. She is president and executive producer of Maverick Productions.
