Life is full of dull people. They make the interesting ones stand out from the crowd, as they make up the bulk of our demographic profile. Anyway, what’s wrong with being dull and boring?
Mr. D is not on the guest list for high-profile parties requiring medieval costumes or those of anime characters, featured in glossy magazines. He is overlooked in anybody’s VIP list. He becomes a problem for the host deciding who to put beside him at the table to keep him company. In training programs requiring presentations of interesting literary characters one wants to be, he is likely to mention Ernest Borgnine. (Of course, you haven’t heard of him, even if he won an Oscar for best actor for Marty.)
The unexciting person excels in careers where dullness commands a premium. Like the accountant in the IBM ad oblivious to the charms of Paris, he is offended by surges of exhilaration from a colleague entranced by the Champs Elysees. A dull accountant is considered discreet and dependable. His opposite, an exuberant bookkeeper with an exciting lifestyle comes across as flaky, if not the too bouncy with numbers.
A yearning for sobriety and discretion (often mistaken for dullness) is prized in lawyers who handle investment banking deals, speechwriters who mimic the speech patterns of their bosses and do not talk about their work, and spies who hope to be underestimated and ignored.
Boring people excel in staff work. The most famous staff assistant works for a very exciting and excitable boss, and even in a legislative hearing, his colorless replies save him from the tabloids.
Dull people are not distracted by social pressures since no one wants to go out with them. They do not long for glory and are content to have their boss pretend that the brilliant turns of phrase in their speeches and smart repartees in ambush interviews are a natural result of a throbbing intellect behind the superficial grin. They are seldom poached by competition because even their bio-data are boring.
In politics, the “amazing grays” work behind the scenes. They plot and scheme to have someone deemed more charismatic be nominated, content to be the power behind the throne. Even when expressing rage over some development, they spout trite remarks and give small snorts of incoherent explanations that oblige the interviewer to finish the sentences they start.
A boring person who is rich is just considered shy. He is acceptable as a party guest and date, because money by itself, especially having free access to it in large quantities, can make people take short breaths. It compensates for an absence of social graces, ignorance of films, inability to quote John Donne, and having a monotonous voice. There is no need for the rich man to be articulate, as his money does the talking for him. Accumulation of wealth presumes some interesting talents that need only to be unearthed.
There are now professionals who specialize in personality makeovers. While they may have cut their teeth with entertainers, like provincial lasses transformed into talent show winners, their transformational talents are applicable to any dull person, like an aspiring beauty contestant. (Even facial features can be altered.) A CEO who puts people to sleep can be given interesting hobbies (art collection) or causes (saving the tarsier) that make people sit up and take notice. The makeover consultant considers his job complete when his dull client makes it to a billboard.
Political packaging turns dull people into compelling icons. A social blogger or troll can be mentioned as a viable candidate for national office. Of course, she will beg off as being unworthy, and therefore available. True, this one does not look nerdy at all, just mean.
Can nerds who do not pay attention to their mall attire make it as newsmakers? The poster boy for the triumph of the nerd is among the richest people in the planet. While donating $10 billion to charity is bound to grab anybody’s attention, one may well wonder what can be duller than a tech guru? Tech billionaires anyway seem dull, and yet are often asked to give motivational speeches — You don’t have to be witty to be wealthy.
Bill Gates delivered this advice to elementary schoolchildren: “Be nice to the nerd beside you. You may be working for him one day.” Of course, bullies usually ignore this rule.
A. R. Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH DBB.
