AT CONFERENCES, wakes, and office parties with outside guests, one can bump into long lost acquaintances, barely remembering their faces which have changed their shapes. The safest greeting seems to be a kind of pleasant surprise at this unexpected encounter. No details need to be given to show proof of familiarity, not even the name. (Hey, there.)
“Long time, no see” is an awkward phrase used often enough in brief encounters where there is not much else to say. This neutral greeting is handy when searching for something more interesting to talk about — have you been following the flood stories? It’s also helpful when neither greeter remembers the other’s name.
What is this amazement at the lapsed time since last seeing someone else mean? The cited separation is seldom the result of forced exile. It’s just an incident of having different schedules and meeting places.
Noting an unintended social separation is seen as an expression of fondness. (Has it been since the COVID shutdown?) This is followed by a recollection of the last meeting with blurred details. Of course, the expression of delight can be sincere, especially if the absence is from a health issue now in the past.
There are valid reasons why two parties have not seen each other for a while.
Mr. B may have been trying to get an appointment with Mr. A for a job or a loan. The latter has instructed his secretary to keep the favor seeker away — Sir, we will call you when he comes back from a long trip. The two may cross paths by chance at the lobby of a mall. It is at this point that “B” may comment on the length of time since the last meeting with “A.” Before more details on the visual gap are brought up (I thought you were on a trip), “A” makes a quick exit. He mumbles an excuse — I need to buy an umbrella for the house.
Estranged couples who have avoided each other for years dispense with expressing pleasant surprise in a chance encounter. Ms. B has been avoiding her ex due to the possibility of throwing up at the mere sight of him. The un-reconciled couple may civilly give a nod to each other from a distance. But what if a third party who is clueless about the fraught relationship pulls one to the other — look what the cat dragged in? The gagging expression of someone who has mistaken a mosquito repellent for mouthwash in gargling is the likely result.
The chit-chat in a chance encounter revolves around present circumstances. Topics include the state of health along with the medications being taken, whether one is in touch with common friends, where a favorite restaurant moved to, current occupation (What keeps you busy nowadays?) and the most recent wake attended.
Given more time being stuck with one another may lead to discussing current entanglements. This involves a conversation that starts only on the third bottle of beer — didn’t you hear? I have switched to raising pets. Finally, there is the attempt, sometimes quite earnestly expressed, to make the time till the next meeting much shorter. (How about tomorrow again?)
There may be a plan to get together for lunch with the date kept vague. (What else is left to talk about?) Some attempt to find a geographically accessible area for a shared meal is made, allowing for traffic and available parking space. Maybe, a distant date is even vaguely set (The next solar eclipse — I like dark mornings) which needs to be confirmed by messaging a few days before.
The lunch is of course canceled at the last minute — I forgot I was supposed to be going on a cruise. Let’s coordinate again when I get back. The meeting never takes place as the other party cancels on the next one.
Anyway, a chance encounter is unplanned. There is no need to prepare for a subject to talk about. All that is expected is a pleasant greeting of surprise with the trite phrase of “long time, no see.” Even a token glance at the watch and a quick exit after that are not considered rude or even worth noting. (She looked familiar.)
Tony Samson is chairman and CEO of TOUCH xda
