The world can be divided between those who complain about everything and those who have to listen to them. (Can you pass the toothpick, please?) Run-of-the-mill gripers torment only those close to them like spouses and significant others who eventually get used to whining as a form of small talk. Patient listeners (yes, Hon) retain the ability to take their French fries, while being verbally overpowered by their chatty partner. Perhaps, they tune out and listen instead to the barking of the neighbor’s dog while maintaining a respectful silence.
Whiners soon get tired of their regular audience and try out blogs and tweets using big fonts, and all caps if they feel like screaming. They have negative opinions on most things, like politics, garbage disposal, traffic, and the impending tax reform. (I like sugared drinks.) Note that economic topics may require charts and a knowledgeable audience, so this last category is usually dropped for more pedestrian fare like 35 passbooks with a small bank, discovered while looking for torn stockings that need attention — the universe does not mend stockings.
While seemingly detailed with analysis and criticism on what ails society, bellyachers seldom offer workable solutions — exile them all to a leper colony. They point out that it is not their job to solve problems. Other people are paid to right the wrongs. Their task is just to wrong the rights.
For whatever motives they have, some gripers can achieve a high profile and may be appointed to powerful positions as a result. But seldom do they succeed in fixing things that they loudly complained about. There’s always a conspiracy wanting them to fail. Solving problems anyway takes perseverance and patience which complainers by their nature are not equipped with.
Because of the griper’s concern for the littlest problem in the community like parking cars on the street (why don’t they provide garages for their cars?) or the proliferation of street peddlers when traffic is at a standstill, the complainant assumes the unlikely role of a champion against the powerful, who are of course defending the status quo. This crusading role is parlayed into a regular advocacy whose sole intent is to look for what’s wrong and bash people’s heads against the wall with it.
In the daily hunt for life’s potholes, the critic’s view of the world becomes warped. It is populated by the unprincipled, the corrupt, and the venal. It has no room for sincerity and goodwill, the virtuous monopoly of the griper.
Gripers can be ordinary people one meets socially who have a view on everything under discussion and express this in a loud and angry speech that does not brook any interruption. It is one’s misfortune at a wedding, cocktails for an organization’s anniversary, or a wake, to be thrown in with strangers. Because of unfamiliarity with certain characters in such events, one does not naturally steer clear of whiners, already well-known in their own social circles and on the lookout for new victims.
No complaint is too petty (fast food meals are served cold) or jejune (offices should allow working from home). It’s now just too easy to have a blog (although now you have to be registered and screened for improper thoughts, whatever that means) or get into a radio chat program, or television talk show, even only as a resource person. (We have with us the foremost authority on money laundering.) This invited resource does not limit himself to his declared area of expertise, even when this acquired knowledge itself is doubtful. (I just read up on the subject this morning.)
Being unhappy and vocal about things can be a full-time occupation. Psychologists acknowledge its healing power: isn’t venting a form of catharsis? One needs only to be looking out for any misdemeanor, wrong behavior, anomaly, and impropriety encountered in the course of the day. Like an examination of conscience, griping needs to be second nature, a pharisaic habit that invokes divine guidance — Lord, make me vigilant over the imperfections of others, including this lump beside me.
It is perhaps a heavy sin in a past life to be reincarnated into a dog whose owner is a whiner. The attempt to flee the diatribe is held back by a leash… even while being walked in the park.
A. R. Samson is chair and CEO of Touch DDB.
