A worker’s odd daily personal rituals

We have a long-time employee who has an unusual daily prayer habit. Every morning, shortly before he starts working during office hours, he will pray for five minutes before a photo of his mother, who died recently. He says his prayers after lighting two candles beside his mother’s photograph. How do we handle this situation? — Brave Heart.

Every workplace has its cast of characters. Some are quirky, brilliant, introverted, high-energy, and offbeat. This diversity makes office life both unpredictable and, at times, unforgettable. But what happens when someone’s deeply personal ritual begins to rub against the edges of corporate norms — or worse, safety regulations?

To some people, a worker’s quirky prayer habit is a touching tribute. To others, it’s a fire hazard. To some extent, it’s an absurd matter that could touch on the issue of personal freedom. After all, we are often encouraged to be authentic in our self-expression in the modern workplace.

But then come the gray areas: What if the open flames violate building codes? What if the scent of candle smoke triggers allergies or silent resentment from co-workers? What if another employee asks why one person’s spiritual practice gets a pass while their own is discouraged?

As the lines between personal and professional activities blur, managers are tasked to ensure compliance and cultivate a culture where empathy and fairness must coexist.

WHAT TO DO
The employee’s morning prayer is not an oddity. It’s an act of remembrance, with deep personal meaning. Balancing that with safety and professionalism is not about choosing sides. It’s about finding respectful solutions that honor both. Here’s a framework for navigating these nuanced moments with grace and clarity.

One, observe without judgment. Managers should consider the context. Is the behavior disruptive? Do lighted candles pose a safety hazard? Is it a protected religious belief? Is it a brief moment of reflection that is part of a 40-day spiritual preparation, purification, and transition, or something more prolonged?

If the ritual is limited to 40 days and done quietly, then better to allow the person to continue with it under certain conditions.

Two, understand the worker’s beliefs and grief. While not every quirk is rooted in religious belief, some rituals — like praying, lighting candles, or honoring the dead — often are. After all, grief can be manifested in deeply personal ways. It may not conform to workplace expectations, but it remains profoundly human.

Employers should remember that religious practices are protected by law. Even if the behavior isn’t associated with a recognized religion, it may still warrant accommodation under personal or spiritual expression. If not, it calls for empathy.

Three, give appropriate safety guidance. Compassion, however, doesn’t mean sacrificing compliance. If the employee is lighting candles indoors, that’s a clear potential fire hazard. No matter how respectful the intent, safety regulations must take precedence.

Assign someone to keep a discreet watch over the worker and monitor him for safety violations. Inform the grieving worker that he can perform the ritual for five minutes, and will be monitored accordingly.

Four, have a compassionate conversation. A respectful, private, one-on-one discussion is the best approach. The goal is not to reprimand, but to understand and explore alternatives. The boss might say: “We respect your practices; it’s clear this means a lot to you.

“We also have to follow building policies that don’t allow open flames for safety reasons. I wonder if we can work together to find an alternative that honors your intent but keeps everyone safe.” Bring up the possibility of battery-operated candles.

Five, offer other reasonable options. If the worker intends to perform the ritual for more than 40 days, then suggest creative alternatives like a designated quiet room for reflection. Adjust his start time so the ritual can take place before work hours.

Accommodations don’t have to be extravagant. But be firm to emphasize that management will no longer allow the ritual to be performed for more than 40 days.

Six, document the process and approvals. Just like other HR-related issues, it’s wise to document the situation — especially if accommodations are made. Keep a written record of decisions and any agreed-upon alternatives. Then ask the worker to accept those conditions in writing.

This protects both the organization and the employee in the event of future misunderstandings or policy reviews whenever workers challenge management decisions.

COMMUNICATE WITH THE TEAM
If coworkers continue to express concern or confusion, use the occasion as a teaching moment. Leaders should remind teams that workplaces are diverse and that personal rituals, when respectful and safe, are part of a healthy culture. Avoid gossip or stigmatizing language.

Instead, affirm that the organization supports both individual expression and shared safety. Managing personal expression at work is not about enforcing uniformity — it’s about building a community with clear boundaries. Do this to illuminate the path toward a shared understanding.

Compassion and policy are not enemies. When managed well, they are co-authors of culture.

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