Boss refuses to teach key job details

I have a new boss who has no time to coach me. He told me I should do my job without help and commit “occasional, but honest mistakes,” which he said is great for learning. That made me anxious. Is this the right approach to take for our work relationship? — Brave Heart.

Your situation can be interpreted as both positive and negative. One, he wants you to be empowered in determining the best approach to doing your job. It’s also possible your boss is being negligent if he fails to provide clear standards.

Just the same, let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. Many managers prefer that you “learn by doing” almost everything, believing that mistakes are essential for career growth. They prefer their workers to take the initiative rather than wait for instructions or the boss’s counsel.

I’d rather take it positively. Your boss is telling you that you’re being trusted. That’s to help you build self-confidence. Usually, they’ll tell you not to be afraid of experimenting.

​It’s a vote of confidence, especially if your job requires that you manage things autonomously while minimizing room for mistakes.

If you’re ambitious and would want to improve your chances of getting a promotion, this is the right time for you to prove your worth.

CALCULATED MEASURES
Generally, your boss is not your enemy, but could be a manager with many tasks on his plate who has no spare time to help you with the nitty-gritty of your job. If you’re ambitious and hungry for growth, explore the following measures:

One, clarify the boss’s intention. Some managers get nervous when a worker expresses interest in learning higher-level skills — especially if they think it’s a threat to their position. That’s not always about ego. Sometimes it’s fear or insecurity.

Defuse the threat and focus on contribution. Say something like: “I admire the way you manage the team and handle strategic issues. I’d love to learn more so I can support you better and grow within the company.”

This signals your interest in being seen as an asset, not a challenge. Position yourself as a future-ready team player who wants to increase your value, without staging a mutiny.

Two, start with calculated risks. Find small ways to step up. Offer to help with reports, prep for meetings, or coordinate team events. These low-risk tasks build trust and give you exposure to higher-level responsibilities.

Step in (without overstepping) when your boss is away or swamped with work.

​But anticipate all possible repercussions. These baby steps give you critical insights into decision-making, strategic thinking, and stakeholder management, without needing formal permission.

Three, look for a friendly mentor somewhere. If your boss isn’t interested in developing your skills, someone else might be. It could be a friendly senior colleague, someone from another team, or a cross-functional leader who’s open to mentoring. Feel your way through.

Better if you can choose an external mentor who’s willing to help you. Here’s a shameless plug. I can give you free consultations, either via e-mail, chat message, or video conference. I would be flattered to assist you with my ideas about your progress.

Four, learn on your own. Not all learning comes from your direct manager, a colleague, or an external consultant. You can build knowledge in many aspects of management through free online platforms like Coursera or LinkedIn Learning.

You can also learn through shadowing opportunities, cross-training, or project-based exposure. Ask your HR department if you can be a part of a management development program that helps people fast-track their learning experience.

Learning by observation, even without permission, can still be powerful.

Five, document your initiative. Aside from arming yourself for performance appraisals, listing down all your milestones will remind your boss of your actual value. In case of an internal job vacancy or similar opportunities, whether in your department or elsewhere, it helps to have references.

Keep a log of the significant projects you volunteered for and the extent of your contribution, skills you’ve developed, courses completed, and specific instances where you contributed beyond your role.

SPEAK WITH ACTION
You have an ambition. That’s great. But handle situations with emotional intelligence. Don’t go over your boss’s head unless it’s an HR issue or a toxic work environment. That burns bridges quickly. More importantly, don’t gossip to peers about your boss’s refusal to mentor you. It creates mistrust.

Actions are louder than words. When you consistently take initiative, solve problems, and add value, people notice — even if your manager doesn’t say so out loud. Other leaders might see your quiet rise and open doors you never expected.

Leadership isn’t always taught. Sometimes, it’s earned by being self-confident.

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