By Tony Samson
THE ATTENDANCE CHECK is routine in corporate culture. Scheduled events like the board of directors’ meeting makes presence (if not participation) obligatory. The secretary attests to the required attendance. (Madame Secretary, do we have a quorum?)
Social events oblige the invitee to show up if he confirmed attendance. Monthly coffee reunions regularly hosted by the coffeeshop owner are tracked in a chat group to list down who have confirmed. Woe to the one who said “yes” and then does not show up. A shaming session follows — he said he was coming. He must have slipped into a parallel universe.
To register presence, it is important to seek the host and exchange a few words. After this “hey-I’m-here” moment, you can drift away — let me give you some time to greet your other guests. After a decent interval covering at least three tables but not sitting down in any of them, you head for the washroom and on to the parking lot. Do not use the public intercom to call your driver.
Obligatory attendance is instilled early.
In school, there is the beadle (or his equivalent) that checks attendance, noting tardiness for those who come in after the prayers or the teacher’s erasing of the blackboard to start the new lessons. Maybe, all this is a bit dated as there are now whiteboards and sometimes just screens for Power Point lessons. Also, attendance is probably now just swiped with the student ID. Maybe even physical presence is no longer required as even students can “work from home.” Are there still classrooms?
How long do you stay in an event?
This is a question that crops up. Staying 30 minutes is a good rule. This even allows taking some drinks and a few canapés. Having a plate in one’s hand signals an intention to stick around… near the buffet table. This spot attracts the heaviest traffic and provides the highest visibility where acquaintances can be greeted and be relied on to remember — yes, I think I saw him heaping food on his plate. It’s good to have your picture taken with a group — check if they’re wearing bowties.
The French have introduced most rules governing etiquette. (Even that is a French word). The French’s most significant contribution to social rules after the French kiss — also known in American slang as “tongue hockey” (first used by Tom Wolfe in Bonfire of the Vanities) is the “French leave.” This unannounced, no-fuss departure originated from a military context, sometimes indicating desertion or escape from prison. It has been coopted by social butterflies to indicate a desertion of a different kind.
The justification for exiting without bidding adieu implies thoughtfulness for not bothering the host attending to other guests. A noisy departure can start a deluge to the exit, so hosts, unless they’re tired and want to sleep, prefer quiet and unnoticed exits of some guests — did you leave the gift? Early leavers are already identified by this bad habit. (Is he just going to the loo?)
But why even bother attending a social occasion if the intent is not to stay till the end, or at least after dessert?
Attendance as well as punctuality are social courtesies that a civil society imposes. The frequently absent are considered unreliable and a bit dysfunctional. Presence indicates interest and inclusion.
Event planners have made RSVP management (with frequent messaging) and guest registers (including the assignment of tables) part of their scope of work. The orderly processing of guests and where they are expected to be seated ensures an efficient way of checking attendance. Name plates on designated seats drive home the point. They also identify gate-crashers.
Obligatory attendance is expected for featured speakers in a civic event. Even here, last-minute cancellations at the highest level have become routine. (He is resting and signing papers at home). Sometimes, no excuse is even offered. A substitute is just sent over to read a speech free of unscripted expletives that need to be explained afterwards.
Attendance, even if brief and hasty, requires “being there,” undistracted and mentally present. (Okay, we’re winding up here).
For leaders attending to crisis situations, attendance goes beyond being marked present and photographed handing out loot bags to evacuees. Verbal tirades off-script tend to drive attention in unexpected directions with unforeseen reactions. Can a clarification be far behind, from someone who wasn’t even there?
Tony Samson is Chairman and CEO, TOUCH xda.
