Thoughts on a double vodka

Trade Tripper
Jemy Gatdula

Posted on December 28, 2012

THE NEW year is approaching. This would therefore be a good time to re-evaluate certain important things: such as one’s drink of choice. Inasmuch as I’d like to order martinis the problem is twofold -- one can’t or it’s almost impossible to find a decent martini in the Philippines. Also, martinis nowadays are as pedestrian as a Harvard degree. So I’ve decided to switch to Gibsons.

Now if you think that there’s no difference between a martini and a Gibson, you’d be right. Actually, you’re not. In any event, who cares? Order a martini if you’re an ANC watching, James Robinson forum attending (even if you don’t understand his book), Catholic but still pro-RH, and philosophy spouting in a party kind of chucklehead. Cantabrigians and Oxonians, however, would correctly go for Lagavulin or Ardbeq. I’d go for a Gibson.

Incidentally, the article last week ("A very significant announcement," BusinessWorld, Dec. 21, 2011) was not based on this writer’s imaginings, much as I’d like to take credit for it. The details were culled from various sources, amongst which are the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich, the non-canonical gospel according to James, historians’ account of the environment and economy of Nazareth, and -- of course -- the Gospels according to Sts. Mathew and Luke. There was another article I’d recommend: "Olaf, the Other Reindeer" (originally published in 2009), which was indeed written with too much distilled potato juice in the head.

Speaking of idiocy, the RH Bill would most likely be law as of this writing (or soon thereafter). How people could support such a measure considering that contraceptives are actually and always has been legally available, at prices cheaper than cellphone loads, is beyond me. They must have had some serious childhood trauma to actually support the RH Bill just to spite the Catholic Church (which will never go away, anyway). Smart people take this piece of advice from Archbishop Charles Chaput: "If you’re Catholic and you disagree with your Church, what do you do? You change your mind." But leading advocates of the Bill are essentially from our old, rich families anyway so I guess lack of intelligence is a given.

Speaking of lack of intelligence, Germany’s Merkel has a Phd in physics, UK’s Cameron is an Etonian and (unfortunately) Oxonian, US’ Obama is expectedly a Harvard guy, Indonesia’s Yudhoyono studied at the US Army Command and General Staff College and Webster University, Malaysia’s Najib Razak has an industrial economics degree from Nottingham, Singapore’s Lee is a Cantabrigian (as all truly smart people are), India’s Singh is an Oxbridge man, and Thailand’s Yingluck Shinawatra has a master’s degree in public administration from Kentucky State. But of course, we have the most prepared and best of all possible leaders in Noynoy, and this is shown in his soaring popularity and satisfaction ratings. I’m sure those affected by Pablo are utterly grateful that he is at this country’s helm.

And more downers: I’ve finally had it with PLDT. It’s incredible how a phone provider could be so mean towards its customers. Even if you’re not remiss in paying phone bills, yet mere delays in payments, perhaps due to PLDT’s check payment policy, and your internet services would be suddenly cut off. Well I’ve had it and shifted to Globe, which so far we’re happy with. Unfortunately, the same problem goes for Meralco. Make the mistake of a one day delay in payment, which can happen as their billing is given close to the deadline, then you get a written threat of having your electricity cut off. Think of it: their repairmen are always nowhere to be found in cases of calamity but their disconnection people are incredibly determined workaholics. Idiots.

Turning to more cheerful matters, the people of Liliw, Laguna have to be truly congratulated. It’s a clean, cheerful, bustling town, with one of most beautiful (interior and exterior wise) churches in the country. Huge credit must go to parish priest Fr. Philip Atienza, who unfortunately is being transferred from his post this coming January. He celebrates Mass as it should be celebrated: solemn, quiet, orderly. The only other place one could find such Masses are at Stella Orientis in UA&P. In any event, I’d like to thank the good people of the lovely Balay Celina, particularly former Mayor and Mrs. Polistico, as well as Lassie, Marinel, and Nida. The fact that they have such well trained and competent staff speaks well of their employer and Liliw was lucky to have had such an official as their mayor.

For my smart readers, I urge you to catch The Five on cable, as well as buy the book The Joy Of Hate by Greg Gutfeld. To see what a real president is like, do watch Lincoln starring the greatest actor ever: Daniel Day-Lewis.

And if you don’t agree with anything I wrote here, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Happy New Year.

Contact: jemygatdula@yahoo.com. Visit my blog at www.jemygatdula.blogspot.com